Things That Inspire Horror Authors #4

Extended Visits from Family – When you’re accustomed to being lord of your own manor, eating what you like whenever you like, showering at any time of day and expecting hot water every time, keeping a sparsely populated fridge and liking everything in your home exactly as you have it…and then family members you haven’t been around in years are suddenly filling the rooms (for various reasons, including marital difficulties, moving in from out of state, etc.) and you now remember why you enjoy living alone.

You lay awake at night and remember past physical and or psychological torments inflicted by said family members and soon wonder if the dark fiction that springs from your pen was born of these wounds. You think about going outside to find a nice fat spider and placing it between their sheets… Then your fridge breaks down, you assume because it is unused to being so full and having so much food to keep cold. You call the repairman, pay the bill, and wonder why no one else in the family loves sushi as much as you do. Refrigerating leftovers is a bad idea when it comes to sushi, right? That’s why the container of spring greens has mostly beer for company. Then you remember that your favorite sushi chef Henry has gone to New York to follow his dream of becoming a Hip Hop artist and you don’t like the salmon wraps the new chef makes because he always includes cream cheese. Henry didn’t do that. You realize you miss Henry more than you would miss the family members now under your roof. He was bright and conscientious and never rearranged the pots and pans in your kitchen to his liking the way one of your relatives has. You wonder if you’ll become an alcoholic before your family leaves, because the beer and container of spring greens now have a large bottle of gin for company.

You think of things for them to do while they are ‘staying’ with you, partially to keep their minds off their troubles and partially to keep them from going through your things. When they think to tell you they aren’t invading your privacy while you’re gone, you know that’s exactly what they’ve done that day, otherwise why mention it. It’s a good thing there are no secrets, no hidden pictures or personal playthings. Nothing but invoices and stacks of old manuscripts, which you know they’ll never read and why? Because they’re family and the least interested persons on the planet when it comes to you. That’s why I can post this and not worry about a single one of them reading it.  :)

Other Things That Inspire Horror Authors – This turtle, who bears a mysterious resemblance to one of the aforementioned.


One More Thing –

Great. More rats. Or more parts of rats….

~ by S.K. Epperson on June 15, 2015.

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